IF

A parody of "IF" by Rudyard Kipling, which describes his criteria for being a man.

You can find the original here.

If you take the hit for each wrong that you do
Instead of blaming all those around you,
If you can tell the truth when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can speak the truth and stop your prating,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
Or having power, don't disenfranchise.

If you can dream — and not dream you're the master;
If you can think — not make up what you claim;
If you can help out after each disaster
And treat winning and losing just the same;
If you can bear to hear the lies you've spoken
Called out by the wise who call you a fool,
Or watch all the things you cheated for, taken,
To repay those you misused as your tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And give it away to all those who've lost,
And you thereafter make an honest living
And never whine about how much it cost;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve the people you thought of as tools,
If you admit you know nothing of value
And admit that the climate crisis rules

If you can talk with crowds and find your virtue,
Or walk with the rich without feeling greed,
If you do what is right for all, not for you
If you make sure the innocents are freed
If you punish all those who did harm for you
And take punishment for all you have done
America and the world might forgive you
And — which is more — you'll be a Man, li'l Don!