Satire: You're fired!
A letter from God to Trump based on Trump's letter to Dr. Lisa D. Cook.
HEAVEN
August 26, 2025
Mr. Donald J. Trump
President, the United States of America
The White House
Washington
Dear President Trump:
Pursuant to my authority as God and creator of your universe, you are hereby removed from position as president of the United States of America, effective immediately.
The bible provides that, unlike you, I may replace anyone at my discretion, whether for cause or not. I have determined that there is sufficient cause to remove you from your position.
As set forth in Romans 12:19 ('Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.'), vengeance is mine, yet you have used your office to avenge yourself against slights large or small, real or (mostly) imagined.
You have also made false statements on financial documents, misstating the value of your properties.
And you have broken many of my ten commandments:
'Thou Shalt Not Have Strange Gods before Me'. That includes Mammon
'Thou Shalt Not Make Unto Thee Any Graven Image'. You have had many paintings made of yourself for others to worship and hung them in the White House
'Thou Shall Not Take the Name of the Lord Thy God in Vain'. You have broken the oath swearing to uphold the constitution (is that why you did not touch the bible at your inauguration?) and sold bibles for your own profit.
'Remember to Keep the Lord’s Day Holy'. Golf does not count.
'Honour Thy Father and Thy Mother'. You lied about how much your father helped you.
'Thou Shalt Not Kill'. You have killed millions with your COVID policies and by destroying USAID alone.
'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery'. You are a known adulterer.
'Thou Shalt Not Steal'. You have been convicted of fraud and have stolen from many who worked with you by declaring bankruptcy and from many Americans by cutting the benefits they have paid for.
'Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness against Thy Neighbour'. You lie about everything and everybody.
'Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbour’s Goods'. You coveted women and the FIFA Club World Cup trophy. And what about Qatar's jet?
And that's not to mention your doing the opposite of what I tell you in the Sermon on the Mount and Matthew 25, in particular.
The president has tremendous responsibility for upholding the constitution and promoting the general welfare, and you have been doing the opposite. The American people must be able to have full confidence in the honesty of the president and members of congress entrusted with setting policy and overseeing the running of the country. In light of your deceitful and potentially criminal conduct in a financial matter, they cannot and I do not have such confidence in your integrity. At a minimum, the conduct at issue exhibits the sort of gross negligence that calls into question your competence and trustworthiness as an administrator.
The executive power of the United States is vested in you as President and, as President, you have a solemn duty to ensure that the laws of the United States are faithfully executed. I have determined that faithfully executing my law and that of the USA requires your immediate removal from office.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
God
GOD
Based on Trump's letter to Dr. Lisa D. Cook.
It’s unfortunate that God works in mysterious ways, and by His Schedule?